Thoughts and Musings

icansaynomore @ 2005-10-13T16:42:00

2005-10-13T23:43:20Z

The previous quizes were all stolen from headlikeahole88. thanks!

icansaynomore @ 2005-10-13T16:38:00

2005-10-13T23:41:56Z

<td align="center">You should be a Vampire

You like to go sexy/scary at Halloween. You love horror movies and the ideals of Halloween (and all of the candy doesn’t hurt either). You are very laid back and love to chill with your friends watching scary movies on Halloween.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

<td align="center">You should have grown up during the eighties

A very different decade for very different people. You like to challenge the norms, and try to be original at all costs. Plus the music was definitely cool. Go Retro Night.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

<td align="center">You are 80% evil

You are super evil. You are constantly figuring out how to get revenge on people. You are not afraid to do illegal things because you feel that you are above the law.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

icansaynomore @ 2005-10-13T16:34:00

2005-10-13T23:37:47Z

<td align="center">

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

<td align="center">Your hidden talent is writing

Your hidden talent is writing. You have a unique way of viewing the world and are able to express your thoughts eloquently on the page. Some people might think that you are weird, but you are just the next Pulitzer prize winner.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

icansaynomore @ 2005-10-13T16:30:00

2005-10-13T23:31:54Z

Well, I know that I haven't updated this in a long time - I haven't really that time anymore. And I know that no one reads it but whatever. My few weeks have gone pretty well. I am getting more involved with my religion - Wicca - so that is a good thing for me. Must be off.

icansaynomore @ 2005-09-13T16:05:00

2005-09-13T23:05:53Z

</td>

Blade

100%

Armand

100%

Marius

92%

Angel

92%

Spike

92%

Dracula

83%

Akasha

83%

Lestat

75%

Deacon Frost

33%

Louis

33%

Whose your Vampire personality? (images)
created with QuizFarm.com

icansaynomore @ 2005-09-11T08:29:00

2005-09-11T15:30:01Z

INFP - the Healer
You scored 27% I to E, 26% N to S, 38% F to T, and 78% J to P!

You are more introverted than extroverted. You are more intuitive than observant, you are more feeling based than thinking based, and you prefer to go with the flow rather than having a plan. Your type can best be summarized by the word "Healer", which belongs to the larger group of idealists. You have a capacity for caring that is deeper than most. You strive for unity, are fascinated by the battles between good and evil, and can be something of an idealist. Only 1% of the population shares your type.
As a romantic partner, you are usually supprtive and nuturing, however, you have a high need for individuality. Harmony is extremely important to you as you are very affected by conflict and tension, which also makes you resist confronting your partner directly about problems. When you get angry, you usually blame yourself, rather than your partner. You can also be stubborn and unyielding when you feel you are being criticized or mistreated. You feel the most appreciated when your partner listens to you carefully. You need to be understood. You need to hear your partner express their feelings, the more often, the better. Your group summary: idealists (NF)
Your type summary: INFP

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 33% on I to E

You scored higher than 26% on N to S

You scored higher than 37% on F to T

You scored higher than 89% on J to P

Link: The LONG Scientific Personality Test written by unpretentious2 on OkCupid Free Online Dating

icansaynomore @ 2005-09-05T10:24:00

2005-09-05T17:24:18Z

icansaynomore @ 2005-08-29T20:09:00

2005-08-30T03:09:46Z

He looked out the window at the moon outside, and smiled a half smile at the sight of the bright, full abject in the blue sky. His bright green eyes danced in the moonlight as he pulled his shirt over his head, and turned to the door of his room. It was dark in there, possibly darker than it was outside; being inside a dark room at night just automatically made it darker than the outer reaches of his walls. Turning to make his bed, he heard the first howl of the night. Instead of making his bed, as he had intended to do at first, he thought Fuck it, just go, and he went out the door, to the living room, where the lights were on, and someone was watching TV. His roommates, probably having a werewolf movie night, again.

“See you guys.” He said as he walked to the door, not really paying attention to what was going on in the movie that played on the television.

“Aw, c’mon man! Come and watch American Werewolf in London with us! You never stay to watch these stupid werewolf movies with us.” One of the men on the couch said; he turned to them, smiling his most evil smile he could muster up.

“”You never watch the stupid vampire movies with me!” And he turned and left the two men on the couch alone.

Something told him not to go to the city, but did he ever listen to that one little gut feeling? No, never! It made him happy not to listen to it. And so he went on, into the city.

The light of the moon was blocked from view, but he knew the city well enough that he didn't have to have any light to see. And also, his eyes were slowly changing as he walked through the dimness of the deep alley.

Going from a dim blue, his eyes changed a bright blue colour. He stopped dead in his tracks. He knew something was wrong. He didn't feel right.

Just keep on going, it won’t hurt you to keep going… or might it? He couldn’t make up his mind whether to turn around and fight out the full moon locked in his room, or let his wilder side take over. Keep on going, you bastard! Do it. They are waiting for you to join them. Dammit! Just keep moving, you son of a bitch. And that was when he took off running to his destination, running as fast a werewolf in human form might be able to run.

He stopped again. Sniffed the air. Then it happened. He could feel the change coming on, he could feel that feeling where his skin was being stretched over his bones, so tightly that it felt like it might rip. He could feel his bones changing and the weight he once had as a human was now gone. He was glad that he was still in the dim light of the alleyway, or he might have been picked up by the police.

Of course, these feelings he had were purely mental. None of this actually happened to him at all. He still looked the same, except his eyes were an unnatural blue colour. They sparkled as he left the alleyway behind, and headed out into the city of Los Vegas.

icansaynomore @ 2005-08-29T15:17:00

2005-08-29T22:17:07Z

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Redhead Jester.

Where You Lived: New Zealand.

How You Died: Consumption.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

icansaynomore @ 2005-08-28T09:59:00

2005-08-28T17:00:59Z

The whole of it is that i am no longer alive... rather, i dont feel like i am living anymore. Have you ever felt that way, when there is nothing left in you to live, and all you want to do is drop dead? Well, that is my feeling of late. I dont know why, but that is it. I must be off. Au revoir, mes amis.

icansaynomore @ 2005-08-28T09:18:00

2005-08-28T16:18:19Z

Louis: You are the wanderer, the Lover, the lost
Soul. You love being a vampire but you'd never
tell them that. These poor human just don't
have a clue. But that's ok, because all you
need is love!

Which Anne Rice Vampire do you most resemble? (Very nice Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

icansaynomore @ 2005-08-07T13:16:00

2005-08-07T20:16:38Z

Dear Reader,

There are something’s in here that no one with a certain mind will understand. But I suppose that all of you understand it. Well, then... Hmm.

I will stay forever in the darkness. I won’t come out when you want me to, but I might as well show some sign of life. I have commented on many a livejournal, with no response back - that is not what plagues me now. It is the fact that I have no life. *laughter*

I await comments or something that shows life.

Au Revoir,

Yours Forever,
Victoire

icansaynomore @ 2005-08-06T18:42:00

2005-08-07T01:42:05Z

*sigh* Another damned entry that no one wishes to read – or they do and they do not comment. I enjoy comments *another sigh* Well, I guess that I should continue it with my entry.

There are things that I wish I could say, but there is nothing to fear here. But there is something that I needn’t say right now.

The night shown full, and nothing could have put a damper on what was happening. I felt something, something spark, even if she didn't. I fell in love again last night, with a beauty that is beyond comparison. She is like the moon, she shines so bright. I am in love! But I shant tell you who this girl is. She is a goddess in my eyes, as is my beloved Jillian. They both hold my love more than they could imagine, but… alas, they both cannot understand the predicament that I am facing, seemingly alone.

Where do we stand right now… where do the world and myself stand at this very moment… no where. We are nothing to one another, only because we seem to loathe one another enough to want to see each other in utter agony. Where do life and myself stand? I don’t know that… there is no telling where me and life stand anymore. But there are things that I can only think…

Yours truly,

Victoire Osbourne

icansaynomore @ 2005-08-05T16:32:00

2005-08-05T23:32:25Z

I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I... I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now

Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I... I want to go back to
Believing in everything

[Latin hymn:]
Iesu, Rex admirabilis
Et triumphator nobilis,
Dulcedo ineffabilis,
Totus desiderabilis.

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I... I want to go back to
Believing in everything
Away

Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I... I want to go back to
Believing in everything

I still remember.

icansaynomore @ 2005-08-03T18:53:00

2005-08-04T01:53:18Z

It was all a bad and good dream, at the same time. All the times at the beach… the words he said, they were lies, dreams, thoughts that I had wished would happen for months. I miss it already… I miss it all, every last bit of the past two weeks I miss right now. I can’t get my mind off of him, but I must. There are others… but I can’t seem to find them. Just forget, and never thing about him again. And no one knows who or what I am talking about – and that shall stay the scenario. But why must I do this every time? Why must I fuck it all up so badly?! You must know what I am talking about?! You like someone for a time, then you finally get the chance to kiss and be with them, even if it is just for a day or two, and then it all goes down hill. I only want to forget about it all. Help me forget, immortals… Lestat… help me fucking forget.

victoire

icansaynomore @ 2005-08-03T18:35:00

2005-08-04T01:36:07Z

my depression has angered someone to the point that i believe that they love me not. i miss him.

icansaynomore @ 2005-08-03T14:24:00

2005-08-03T21:24:45Z

icansaynomore @ 2005-07-31T11:55:00

2005-07-31T18:58:32Z

i am sick of it all. sick of all the things that they are saying. they think they are the true ones. they think so, well, until i find the one lestat that remembers my name... i wont believe. i cant believe it. not right now. i know what i know is real, what i see is real, my damn memories are, indeed, real! but wont that one lestat come and remember me? wont he say "yes, my dear, i remember everything you say..." and then i can be at rest with this damn hatred? i want him back... the old one, the one with the memories.. the one that had me... but that is enough sadness for now. au revoir

victoire osbourne

icansaynomore @ 2005-07-30T09:30:00

2005-07-30T16:30:54Z

i am not so much displeased with my behavior of late, but in ways, i am what i am, and that is all that i am... be that displeased or pleased. i have been told that i am to keep these behaviors to myself - i find that hard to do when so many wish to know. but it disgusts me that i would let my lust take over, and possibly hurt the only other immortal that i know at this time to every extent. but i love her, and i only want her to be happy... but that inpeads upon my own happiness, and that is what harms me. not that i mean to sound selfish, for i do not, but it is my happiness that i want right now, a long with hers.

a dream came to me last night. one with my beloved Benji - whom you are yet to learn of - and he came back to me. for once, i wasnt looking for him, he came for me.

but, alas, parting is such sweet sorrow... i must away. au revoir

Victoire Osbourne

icansaynomore @ 2005-07-28T20:31:00

2005-07-29T03:21:40Z

i wanna kow
why am i so untouchalbe
i wanna feel
the things that i could never feel.
i need to know
the things that you wont let me know
i need to see
the things in life that i cant be.
you say
you're here
to protect me
from everything that you are
but you arent protecting me
from what i am becoming.
paralyzed
i am sheilded from all things that i once wanted
hypnotized
and i am doing it all again.
im sick of everything
that you are
i am sick of all the shit
all the lies
the cheating is behind me now
but i wont let you go that easily.
im tired of being here
a mouse for you to beat around;
i am not your toy to cry to
i am not your pon to break down
i am not your precious to fondle over
i am not the Goddess you praise
i am not the Demon sent to torture you
i am not the God that looks over you
i am not the Forsaken that is blinded by love
i am not the Forgotten that does not feel
im not your Forever.

icansaynomore @ 2005-07-28T20:23:00

2005-07-29T03:12:13Z

Time. There is nothing that means more to an immortal than time. Don’t ask that question “why?”, it wont get you anywhere with me. Time… what a funny concept that humans have so STUPIDLY concocted. What is time!? There is nothing that time is when it is compared to the lack of time. What was it like before time was here, before we had to look at a watch and tell what time it was? That is a false time. That is a time that was made up, that is a time that was made by impatient little men that had no idea what life was about, so they made up time to make everything worth while.

But all the while, there are things that time should keep going. A life can only last so long, and then it gets tiring. As has mine.

My life is a boring sack of shit. Pardon the fowl language. But, to alleviate that fact that I am talking about myself, this is my journal, and I deserve a place to rant. I deserve a sanctuary for my thoughts and feelings.

My life is going by so slow – yet another reason that time is not a good thing for immortals, but still a thing that we depend on more than life itself, or even blood. Because with out time, we are nothing; time is what we are, living history! This is something that neither immortals nor mortals could live without, because living is time.

Nothing ever gets solved. Time always makes things unsolvable, because it either goes to fast, or too slow for anything to get solved. Or, time doesn’t permit you to see someone for a long time, so all you have is a voice on the other end of the phone, and they don’t talk. So nothing gets solved, and time is always the reason why.

Time has no importance in my life anymore. It means nothing to me now. Nothing. I know that I will never find Lestat, the one that really knows who I am, and I know that I am being stupid for even looking for him.

Victoire Osbourne